The Hangover of Olympus
by Cerulean Apocalypse
Summary: The night before Percy and Annabeth's wedding, their friends take them out for a night of fun. When they wake up confused and both the bride and groom are missing, they must backtrack their steps and try to remember just what happened.
1. Chapter 1: The Madness Begins

Authors' Note: _I realize that there have probably been many fics like this. But this idea has been stuck in my head for so long that I just had to write it. Besides, I'm hoping that this will turn out differently from others like it: more of a mystery, but still humorous. This takes place after the war against Gaea. Annabeth, Percy, Rachel, Connor, Leo, Clarisse, and Piper are about 23. Enjoy, and don't forget to review!_

_~Cerulean_

Chapter 1: The Madness Begins

"Annabeth, what do you think of this one?" asked Piper, showing Annabeth a bouquet of roses, lilies, and daffodils.

"Mmmh, it's okay," said Annabeth. Why, why, _why_ did she cancel work to look at flowers?

Rachel rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Can't you decide already, Annabeth? You're getting married in two days, and you _still_ haven't even picked out the kind of flowers you want! Do you even want to get married?"

"Of course!" protested Annabeth indignantly.

"There's still time to give up and join the Hunters," offered Thalia teasingly.

"No, Thalia. I love Percy, I just… I guess I'm just not into flowers and stuff. I've never been that… girly."

"None of us are," Clarisse pointed out.

"Clarisse, would you go away?" demanded Annabeth. "You're not doing anything."

"No."

"What we need," said Rachel thoughtfully, "Is a night out. Girls' night. It's your last two days as a free woman, Annabeth. We have to make it memorable."

"Or so crazy that we don't remember it at all," offered Thalia. Piper nodded in agreement. Annabeth sighed.

"Fine. What did you have in mind?"

..~0~..

"Remember the plan?" asked Grover. He, Nico, Connor, and Leo were hiding in an alley outside of Percy's apartment.

"Yeah," said Nico.

"Leo, do you have the duct tape?" asked Connor.

He held up a roll. "Never leave home without it."

"Okay, let's go," said Grover. The four climbed up the fire escape and through Percy's open window. They ended up in Percy's living room. It was littered with pictures of his friends, from old quests, and of the dolphins he trained. But where was Percy? All of a sudden, they heard singing. Bad singing.

_Four years, you think for sure, that's all you've got to endure, _

_All the total dicks, all the stuck-up chicks, so superficial, so immature!_

_Then when you graduate, you take a look around and you say, 'Hey, wait!'_

_This is the same as where I just came from,_

_I thought it was over (Aw that's just great!)_

"Percy sings in the shower? Who knew?" asked Connor, smirking. Grover shuddered.

"We used to share a dorm back in Yancy. He never realized I could hear him, and I didn't have the heart to tell him so. Besides, it was hilarious."

Leo laughed. "Okay, guys, let's get this show on the road. Should I get everything set up?"

Being a son of Hephaestus, Leo had a talent for building things. He could probably build a flying car with seat warmers, a high-tech stereo system, a mini fridge, and retractable cup holders, or a robotic elf that could sing every Christmas song ever written in a variety of languages in two or three days. But everyone agreed that his most epic creations were his harmless-yet-hilarious booby traps.

A few minutes later, they heard the water in the shower turn off.

"Hide!" hissed Grover. He dove under the coffee table. Nico crawled into the closet. Leo jumped behind the sofa. Connor put a lampshade on his head and prayed that he wouldn't be seen.

Percy walked out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of jeans and whistling. He noticed an oddly shaped lamp, but before he could do anything, he stepped right into the trap. The floorboards under his feet were suddenly jerked away, sending him flying backward. He fell back onto some kind of spring and got slammed forward, through a pile of feathers, and landed in a vat of whipped cream that had been concealed by a secret panel in the wall.

"What the #$%^?" exclaimed Percy. Then he looked around, covered in feathers and whipped cream, and laughed. "All this in half the time it took me to shower? That's impressive, guys. What's it for?"

They all got out of their hiding places. "This Percy," said Leo, "Is the beginning of the end of your life. As a free man, that is."

"C'mon, guys. You went to all this just to make my bachelor party memorable?"

"Just to make it memorable?" asked Grover incredulously. "Seriously? I mean, we all know you actually want to get married, but it's tradition to go nuts."

"I'm just saying, though, we better not go to Vegas. The last time we were there, I almost got stuck playing video games with this disco-loving weirdo named Darren. Don't you remember the Lotus Casino?" asked Nico.

"You met him, too?" asked Percy, surprised. Nico sighed sadly.

"Yeah. I remember that Bianca couldn't stand him."

"Okay, no Vegas," said Connor.

"What about Atlantic City?" suggested Leo, smirking.

Percy shrugged. "Why not? Sounds fun. Close enough that we don't have to drive ten hours away from New York, far away enough that if we do something stupid, no one will hear about it."

"We might not even remember it!" agreed Nico.

..~0~..

The Next Day

Thalia rolled over, groaning. She had a massive headache, and the bright sun in her eyes wasn't making it any better. "Phoebe, close the tent, it's too bright," she commanded, lying facedown on the pillow. "Fine, I'll do it myself," she mumbled sleepily, getting up and stumbling across the hotel room towards the large window surrounded by white curtains. Wait a minute. Hotel room? Curtains? Wherever the hell she was, it definitely was not the Hunters' Camp.

Someone else stirred. "No… fuck off, you stupid monster…" muttered Clarisse, who was lying in the bathtub.

Piper giggled in her sleep. "That feels nice, babe…." She puckered her lips as if she was about to kiss someone.

Rachel sat up and stretched. Then, she realized she was lying on the balcony outside of the hotel room that she didn't recognize. "Guys?" she called, wandering inside.

Everyone else was inside, wandering around and looking confused. "Hey… where's Annabeth?" asked Piper.

..~0~..

Nico, Leo, Grover, and Connor were lying on an unfamiliar beach. Nico was wearing a feather boa and was covered in lipstick. Grover was covered in leaves. Leo was soaking wet. Connor had several thousand dollars worth of stolen cash in his pockets.

Grover sat up. "Where's Percy?" he asked. No one answered.


	2. Chapter 2: The Craziness Continues

Authors' Note: _Hey, guys! I just wanted to thank everyone who favorited, reviewed, or put this story on alert. I'm going to continue this story. It will, as I said in the first chapter, have an element of mystery to it. I'll try to keep everyone in character, so please tell me if you think they aren't. Enjoy this chapter. _

Chapter Two: The Craziness Continues

"Seriously, where are we?" Piper asked. Everyone looked at Rachel.

"Why's everyone looking at me?" she asked.

"Well, you are the all-knowing oracle," Thalia pointed out. Rachel sighed.

"Okay, okay. Hmmm, we're in a hotel. And judging by the view outside, it's the Plaza."

Clarisse went over to the window and looked out. "Yeah, definitely the Plaza. I recognize the view from when we stayed here during the Titan War."

"Okay… well, that's all I've got. Anyone remember how we got here?" Rachel asked.

They all exchanged looks. "No… last night was kind of a blur," admitted Clarisse.

"And I've still got a killer headache," groaned Piper. "What did we do? The last thing I remember is that we went to a Paramore concert… and had a few drinks."

"A few? We'd have had to have more than a few if we're at the point where we can't remember anything," replied Rachel.

"True," acknowledged Thalia. "I've got an idea. Let's just go downstairs and ask a few questions about what we were doing. Besides, Annabeth's probably down there."

The four girls wandered down to the lobby and found the front desk. It was still around seven in the morning on a Saturday, so almost no one was around.

"Excuse me," said Piper sweetly to the man waiting at the desk. His dark eyes widened when he saw them.

"You," sputtered the man shakily. "You—you—_psychopaths!_ Stay back! I'm warning you, you better have a good reason for running in here on horseback, throwing around expensive vases and trying to blow everything up! You'll pay for it!"

"Well, what exactly did we do?" demanded Thalia angrily.

"Thal, relax. Let's just find out what happened. Look, sir," continued Piper, turning towards the man at the desk, "We're willing to pay for the damages. But please, could you tell us if you saw a blond girl with us? You see, we can't find her, and we would hate to lose her," she said sweetly.

The man relaxed as Piper's charmspeak abilities worked their magic. "No, I didn't notice a blond among you. But you were all rather… intoxicated. You all had torches and were yelling about how everything had seven heads, although that was probably a result of your intoxication."

Piper smiled. "Thanks, sir. This would cover the damage, right?" She held up a blank piece of paper. The man, still in a trance, reached out and took it.

"Sure, this is more than enough. Have a pleasant day, ladies!" he called.

"Why'd you give him a piece of paper? I thought you were rich enough to pay for it?" asked Clarisse bluntly.

Piper looked annoyed by that last comment. "I would have paid… but I can't find my credit card."

"That sucks," said Thalia. "Let's go to the park. I have a feeling we ended up there."

They followed Thalia through Central Park, looking for any signs of Annabeth. "Oh, shit," said Rachel. They followed her gaze to where a herd of hippalektryons stood on a merry-go-round. Small children were climbing them and riding around, completely oblivious to the rooster half of their bodies. "We went to the Triple G Ranch?"

..~0~..

Meanwhile, the boys were still waking up. "What's with all these feathers?" wondered Nico, sitting up.

"What's with all the lipstick on your face?" Leo asked, trying not to laugh.

"No, seriously, where's Percy?" asked Grover again.

"Hey, look! I've got stolen cash and some chick's credit card!" exclaimed Connor happily.

"Hey, I think that's Piper's!" said Leo. "Look on the back!" Sure enough, the card had 'McLean' written on it.

"Okay, ignoring the fact that Nico is buried in feathers and lipstick, Connor has Piper's credit card and a ton of stolen cash, Leo is soaking wet, and we're on some strange beach, there is something more important! Where's Percy?"

"Uhh… I've got nothing. Anyone remember anything, 'cause I sure don't," said Leo.

"The last thing I remember," said Nico, "Is going to that casino in Atlantic City, I think it was called Caesar. And we were gambling… and that's all I remember. Hey, what's this?" he asked, pulling out a piece of paper. His eyes widened in horror. "Oh no… we weren't _that_ drunk… were we?"

"Why, what is it?" asked Connor, leaning over to look. "How the hell did we not remember that?"

"Remember what? What's on it?" questioned Leo suspiciously.

"A—a _marriage certificate_," choked Nico in a tone of horror. "I—it says 'This document hereby certifies the legal marriage of Nico diAngelo and—and—"

He couldn't finish his sentence, so Connor read the name.

"Nancy Bobofit."

"Who's that?" asked Leo. Grover scowled.

"Oh, I know her. See, back when Zeus's lightning bolt was stolen, I was sent to this school called Yancy Academy, where I met Percy. He and this girl hated each other. She was… well, let's just say not someone you would want to marry. At all," he finished darkly.

"Okay… well, looks like I'll have to find her and get this thing annulled," sighed Nico.

Connor examined the paper. "The date on it is yesterday's, so it happened before midnight. And you guys all signed it as witnesses, so we know Percy was with us then. Looks like we'll have to track this Nancy girl down."

"The certificate says, 'Caesar's Hotel and Casino Chapel', so I guess we'll start there, then?" asked Leo.

..~0~..

After asking for directions from various pedestrians, they finally located the chapel. It was a small building adjacent to the hotel, decorated with Roman statues.

"Hi," said Grover to the woman at the desk. "I don't remember if you were here last night, but my friend here got married… and he wasn't really in his right mind when it happened. So I was wondering, do you have any records from the wedding—"

The woman interrupted him. "You don't remember? That's disappointing. No one ever does. None of these marriages are ever permanent. See, everyone comes in and I think we've finally done something right. Then, the next fucking morning they come running down, asking for a damn annulment!"

"Ma'am, I know you're annoyed, but I really need to get this annulled," said Nico.

"Shut up! Of course you'll get your annulment, but jeez! Think the damn thing over!" she stomped into the back and pulled out some forms. "Get her to sign these. Then come back later and we'll work something out." She disappeared into the back.

"What a charmer," said Leo. "Come on, let's find her. Maybe she knows where Percy is."

Nancy's address was on the form. They had to take a few buses, but eventually, they ended up at her apartment.

"My life sucks," sighed Nico. He knocked on the door, frowning. A girl in a black tank top and white shorts answered. Her hair was the most obnoxious shade of orange possible, and she wore too much eyeliner and a ton of red lipstick. Inside her apartment, there was a hippalektryon chewing on the couch.

"Nico, baby! Hey!" she grabbed him and planted a big, sloppy kiss on his lips. "How's my hubby?"

"Actually, that's the problem," said Grover. Nancy turned to him.

"Why? Tryin' to take my man away from me, 'cause of an old grudge?" asked Nancy aggressively, clinging to Nico.

"Yes," Nico gasped. "See, I didn't mean to marry you, I was just so drunk—" He was cut off when Nancy punched him.

"SO IT WAS JUST A DRUNKEN MISTAKE? YOU MARRIED ME JUST BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE CRAP?"

"Look, I'm sure he didn't mean to insult you," said Leo. "Just sign the contract and forget it. It was a mistake."

Nancy grabbed the paper and scrawled her name on it. "I hope you die in a hole, you dick!" she screamed angrily. She pushed them out the door. "I should have known better than to marry anyone Percy was friends with! And take your stupid horse back!" She ran over to a hippalektryon that was in the corner.

"Now what?" asked Grover, patting the hippalektryon.

"We'd better return that to the ranch," said Nico. "Come on, let's run."


	3. Chapter 3: Infinite Insanity

_Author's Note: Yes, I know it's late. But give me a break, my birthday's tomorrow. Anyway, I was really happy with the number of reviews my story's gotten so far. Thanks to all the people who reviewed, favorited, or put this story on alert. _

Chapter Three: Infinite Insanity

"Just where the hell are we?" asked Clarisse irritably. They were in Rachel's car, driving through some random town in the middle of nowhere. "Are you sure this isn't some monster-infested loony bin?"

"I told you, no," replied Thalia, annoyed. "I passed through here with the Hunters a few summers ago. As long as Geryon hasn't re-formed, we'll be fine."

"Don't worry, he hasn't," Rachel informed them cheerfully.

"Would you mind explaining where we're going?" asked Piper. "Who's Geryon?"

"He's a three bodied monster who used to own the ranch," explained Thalia. "Until Percy came and took care of him. Now Eurytion's in charge. He's not bad, but we should probably have a good explanation for why we stole these hippalektryons."

"I'll take care of that," said Piper decisively. After what seemed like hours of driving, they finally arrived at the outskirts of what appeared to be a very large ranch. There was a long drive leading up to a large farmhouse, and they could see several barns scattered among the hills.

They drove up to the farmhouse and got out. Clarisse walked up the steps and knocked on the front door. "Hello? Anyone there?" she called. No one answered. They all stood there for a few minutes. Finally, Clarisse yelled, "If you don't open the door before I finish counting to ten, I'm breaking and entering! Got it? One! Two!—"

"Calm down, girl. Didn't y'all already cause enough damage last night?" growled a man's voice. Eurytion the cowherd was strolling toward them, wearing a cowboy boots, jeans, and a shirt that said 'One-man Wolf Pack' on it.

"Okay, what exactly did we do?" said Thalia. "Because we can't remember at all."

Eurytion looked surprised. "I thought you would have remembered most of all. Didn't you notice what was on your arm?"

"What do you- Oh no. No no no no no. Please, please tell me I did not do what I think I did," Thalia said, pacing nervously.

"Well, you insisted. And since you were all waving sharp objects in my face, I thought it best not to argue."

Thalia pulled up her sleeve. "How am I supposed to ever get rid of this?" she shrieked. On her arm was a tattoo. It was a seven point-star, and over it were the words, 'Barbie girl.'

Rachel, Clarisse, and Piper stared, for a long time. Finally, Rachel couldn't take it anymore and fell over laughing, despite Thalia's murderous expression.

"Well… there's always tattoo removal surgery," offered Piper. This did not help.

..~0~..

"Are we there yet?" asked Connor.

"No," said Grover. "A little farther."

Connor waited for a moment. He half-expected Travis to chime in and ask again, but of course, Travis and Katie were in Honolulu. So Connor was alone. Therefore, he felt the need to be twice as annoying.

"Are we there yet?' he asked again.

"No, not yet," said Leo, who was driving. "We're not much closer than we were three seconds ago when you asked."

Connor knew he was pushing it, but he had to ask again. "Are we there YET?" he demanded.

"NO, WE ARE NOT!" yelled Nico. Everyone jumped a little.

Connor couldn't help himself. Okay, maybe he could, but just one more time. "ARE WE THERE YET?"

"Yes! Thank the gods!" said Grover. They pulled up to the farmhouse.

"Hey, there's Rachel's car!" said Nico. "They're here, too?"

"I guess so," said Grover. "But listen, guys, we probably shouldn't tell them about Percy."

"Yeah, especially not if Annabeth's with them," agreed Leo. "Let's not repeat the incident at Camp Jupiter."

"Hey, who's that yelling?" asked Connor abruptly. They all ran towards the noise. Thalia, Piper, Clarisse, Rachel, and Eurytion were there. Thalia was screaming, Rachel, Piper, and Clarisse were trying hard not to laugh, and Eurytion was standing awkwardly to the side.

"You guys are back? Please tell me you aren't going to complain about what went on last night," groaned Eurytion.

"No, uh, we wanted to tell you about the hippalektryons we found," explained Nico.

"Really? We have some too," said Piper, finally ceasing her laughter.

"Oh. Well, you'd better bring them back. Can't have the mortals running around thinking they're magic chickens or something," said Eurytion.

"Oh, and Eurytion? Did you happen to see Annabeth?" asked Rachel hesitantly.

"No. Why, is she missing?"

"No," lied Piper smoothly. "We're just playing a traditional pre-wedding game of hide and seek, that's all." It was a good thing Piper could charmspeak, because that lie wouldn't have fooled a blind monkey. Even with the charmspeak, Leo still wasn't convinced.

"If it's traditional, then why hasn't anyone heard of it?" he asked.

"Umm… it's a girls-only thing. Not many boys know about it."

"Oh. That makes sense."

"Yeah… hey where's Prissy?" asked Clarisse.

"He's still getting packed for the honeymoon," Nico supplied.

"Oh," said Rachel.

"Yep," agreed Grover.

"That's nice," Piper said. "Yeah, we'll just go… find Annabeth. See you at the wedding."

"Right," said Leo. "The wedding."

"Yeah… where Percy and Annabeth will both be," stated Thalia awkwardly.

"I hope the cake's good," Connor mentioned.

"Yeah… we've gotta go, bye, see you, ta-ta, TTYL, hasta la vista, sayonara, adios," said Rachel dismissively. The two groups ran to their cars and drove away.


	4. Chapter 4:Warped Words of Wisdom

Authors' Note: You guys are awesome. Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts that this story has received so far. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I meant to do it sooner, but I was busy with school, tennis, etc. Luckily, tennis has ended, and now I will be updating more frequently. Enjoy the chapter.

Chapter Four: Warped Words of Wisdom

"Well, that was useless," sighed Thalia.

"And we still have no idea where Annabeth is," said Piper.

"I have an idea!" said Clarisse. Everyone stared.

"Really, Clarisse?" Thalia asked warily. "Does it involve sticking someone's head in the toilet?"

"No. Not _everything_ that goes on in my head involves sticking people's heads in toilets, Pinecone Face."

"That's news to me," muttered Rachel.

"Actually," continued Clarisse, "Annabeth has a lot of enemies, right?"

The three others exchanged glances. "What exactly are you—" Piper began. But she was interrupted by an IM.

"Sorry for the interruption," said Chiron, "But I have to speak to you regarding an important manner."

Rachel turned to look at the image of the camp director. "It's nothing. What's it about?"

Chiron's face turned serious. "I don't mean to accuse you girls, but the situation is getting out of hand. And since Butch saw you girls running away from the crime scene, then—"

"Crime scene?" interrupted Thalia. "Chiron, what exactly happened?"

He sighed. "You don't remember? I thought not, you seemed quite… intoxicated. You stole a car, I think. A red Ferrari. You left it at camp. Do you remember?"

"I think I'd remember stealing a car that expensive, Chiron," said Piper.

"You would know," snickered Clarisse. Piper glared at her.

"Regardless, something must be done before the mortal police find out. Can you find your way here?"

"Yeah, we're really sorry if it caused trouble for you. We'll probably be there in about an hour," Rachel replied apologetically.

"Alright, then. Wait a moment. Where's Annabeth? She was with you last night."

The girls looked at each other for an excuse. Finally, Piper spoke up. "Still in the hotel. Why?"

"Don't lie, Piper," chided Chiron gently. "I can guess from the looks on your faces that you have no idea where she is," he continued gloomily.

"Yes, but don't worry, we're going to find out before tomorrow," said Thalia.

"Really, there's no question that we'll have her back before the wedding," added Rachel.

Chiron shook his head. "Well, if there' one thing I learned from the Party Ponies, it's this: If you lose something, never, under any circumstances, try to retrace your steps. Trust me, you'll only end up tied to a tree while watching your prized Dean Martin collection cruelly _smashed _to pieces by an angry mob of Tokyo citizens while hiding from a drunken Scylla that has for some reason left the entrance for the Sea of Monsters simply because you accidentally—Ah, never mind." He quickly cut the connection.

"Angry mob?" asked Piper.

"Dean Martin?" questioned Thalia.

"Drunken Scylla?" laughed Clarisse.

"Okay, let's forget about Chiron's questionable experiences with his insane relatives. We've got to get to camp," said Rachel. She stepped on the accelerator.

..~0~..

The boys still hadn't gotten any closer to finding Percy. They did, however, find a new lead: a receipt for a place called the Spartan Bar & Grill, found in Grover's back pocket.

"Hey, guys, we should check this place out," said Nico.

Leo examined the receipt. It was stained with tequila and had some girl's number scribbled on the back. It had a short message, too:

Thanks for the tip. Good thing you won't remember what you really did for me.

~H

"Who's 'H'?" asked Connor, glancing over Leo's shoulder. "And what did you do for her?"

"I'm not sure we want to know," said Leo darkly.

"Okay, guys, we're here," said Nico. They got out of the car, and found themselves in the parking lot of the seediest-looking bar that any of them had ever seen. It was the type of place that parents don't let their children get within a mile of. Suspicious-looking guys were passed out in various places around it.

They walked inside the bar. Strewn about the bar were broken tables and chairs. And that wasn't even the strangest part. That was the giant cage in the center of the room with a sign that said, 'Please do not touch the chicken-pony'.

"What the hell is this?" asked Grover.

Just the, a bartender walked by, sighing gloomily as he wiped off the countertops. Then, he noticed them.

"What are you people doing back here?" he demanded angrily.

"Um, we just wanted to know—" started Grover.

"Know what? Know if it was okay to keep the chicken pony? Well, it isn't! I got a ton of phone calls today, and my boss is angry. The chicken pony was his! Do you know how rare they are?"

"Chicken pony? Is he talking about hippalektryons?" asked Connor.

"I think so," replied Grover.

The bartender kept ranting. "And look at all the damages you've done! You'll pay for this!"

"Fine, fine. How much? If we all pool our money, we can pay you back," offered Nico.

Meanwhile, Leo had gotten bored. He wandered off and started examining the ancient TV on the wall. Maybe with a few adjustments… He pulled out his screwdriver and went to work.

"Look, sir, we just wanted to know if you saw another guy with us," said Connor finally.

The bartender glared at him, annoyed. "Why, did you lose your boyfriend? The tall one with black hair, right? Don't get me started on him! He got into a huge fight with the boss, and then—"

"Hey, look what I did!" said Leo proudly. He gestured to the TV, which now had a built-in video game system and simultaneously downloaded music illegally.

"And now you've destroyed the TV," moaned the bartender. "Look—" suddenly, his expression changed. "Are those… high definition sports networks?"

"Yep," said Leo, grinning. "And look, a built-in stereo system."

"Well," said the bartender halfheartedly, "I think I'll reduce the destruction charges."

"Okay, then," said Nico. "Can we maybe talk to the owner?"

"No," said the bartender. "He rarely comes. Only when he's looking for a fight and can't find one elsewhere."

"Wait a second!" said Grover. "Who do we know who hates Percy and is always looking for a fight?"

"Don't tell me," groaned Connor.

"We have to go looking for a war god, don't we?" grumbled Nico.


	5. Chapter 5:Catfights and Criminals

Authors' Note: I am sooooo sorry I didn't update! I don't even have a good excuse. So, to make up for it, I'll make this chapter longer than usual.

Chapter 5: Catfights and Criminals

Some time later, the girls finally pulled up to Half-Blood Hill. Chiron was waiting at the top, looking anxious. He cantered over to them right away.

"I hope you have a good explanation for this," said Chiron, "Because stealing cars is illegal, and although I'm sure there was a reason, a demigod must never cause harm to mortals."

"But we don't remember anything from last night!" cried Piper.

Chiron sighed. "I know you're telling the truth, but you have to at least try to remember."

"Maybe if we saw the car, then we might remember something," suggested Thalia.

Chiron led them over to the canoe lake, which was surrounded by confused-looking campers and irritated naiads.

"Where's the car?" asked Clarisse suspiciously.

"We did _not_ do what I think we did, did we?" asked Rachel nervously.

"I think we did," whispered Piper.

Inside the lake floated a car. A bright red one, that looked fairly expensive and new.

"Well, that would explain why… no, it doesn't. This makes no sense at all," Thalia realized.

"Annabeth would probably figure it out," said Piper hopefully.

"Well, she's not here!" snapped Clarisse.

"They're trying to pull it out now," explained Chiron. Sure enough, a group of demigods had tied ropes around the car, and harnessed the ropes to pegasi. Slowly, the pegasi moved forward, and dragged the car out of the lake.

Clarisse gasped. "I recognize that car! It's my father's!"

"Doesn't Ares have a war chariot?" questioned Thalia.

"Yes, but it can change form. And this is one of them," explained Clarisse.

"But why would we steal his car?" asked Piper, looking thoroughly confused.

Thalia ran to the car and forced the door open. A large quantity of lake water gushed out. Thalia ignored this and crawled inside. She rummaged around until she found something and took it out. "We didn't. The boys did," said Thalia, holding out something she'd found in the backseat. It was a ring: a silver one with a skull on it.

"Isn't that Nico's?" questioned Rachel. "So they stole the car… and planted it on us?"

"I don't think they'd do that," replied Piper. "What if they showed up to the ranch in it, and then there was some kind of mix-up?"

"Probably," Clarisse agreed, "But we should keep looking for clues. And we should probably return this car, before my dad gets angry and rips someone's head off."

..~0~..

"So this is Ares's temple," Connor said, staring up at the USS _Intrepid_. "Why would a war god want to hang out at a museum?"

"It's full of old bombs, missiles, and other deadly devices. Where else would he hang out?" replied Nico.

"If I was a god, I'd hang out at an ice cream parlor," stated Connor. Everyone else stared. "Why, what's wrong with ice cream?"

"Nothing. But apparently, Ares is too obsessed with violence to have time for ice cream," said Grover, as if this was perfectly normal.

They all stepped inside the museum, half expecting Ares to pop out of nowhere with a giant sword at their throats. The place was pretty much empty. Only the museum guard was there, and he was busy sending dirty text messages.

"Looks like he's not home. Oh, well. We tried. Let's go before—" Leo turned and found Ares standing right behind him, staring him down.

"You were saying?" growled the war god dangerously.

"Nothing, nothing," said Leo. He inched backwards and stood with his friends. They all stared at each other, each hoping someone else would start talking first.

"Nico! Say something, man," whispered Connor.

"Why me? Percy always handles the exchange between us and the guy who's trying to kill us!" Nico hissed back.

"Percy's not here. You're the most powerful, so go be the hero!"

Nico took a deep breath and stepped forward. "Lord Ares, we don't mean to bother you, but we have to find Percy. What have you done with him?"

Ares pulled off his shades, revealing his fiery eyes. "He deserved it. After you little punks decided it would be fun to steal from me… Well, let's just say he's in a place he'll never leave."

"Where? Dead?" asked Grover, stepping forward.

"Not dead. I'd know if he was. But we need to find him soon. So where is he?" Nico demanded.

Ares just smirked. "Like I'd tell you. You stole from me. And I don't tolerate thieves." Ares pulled out a huge sword and held it out. "You'd better return what you stole first. Maybe then, I'd give you a little hint."

"But we don't even know what we stole!" protested Leo.

Just then, they heard a noise. A growling, but not of an animal. More like a powerful engine. A red sports car sped into the room, knocking down a few walls. It made a three-sixty degree turn before screeching to a halt. Thalia, Clarisse, Piper, and Rachel climbed out. Thalia looked nauseous.

"Clarisse, remind me never to get into a car that you're driving," mumbled Thalia, struggling to stand straight.

"Wimp."

"I guess that's what we stole," said Connor.

"All right, that's been returned to me," allowed Ares. "But not by the ones who stole it. So I'll give you a hint: I sent the Jackson brat to wherever I sent him so he could replace someone else."

"That still makes no sense," protested Nico.

"Like I care," said Ares. He got into his car and drove away.

"Percy's missing too?" asked Rachel.

"'Too'? You mean Annabeth's missing?" asked Grover.

There was an awkward silence. "Wow… last night must have been even crazier than I thought," said Leo.

..~0~..

They ended up going back to the room the girls had rented in the Plaza.

"So we must have stolen the car from the Spartan Bar, and then gotten to the ranch, where there was some kind of mix-up that involved you guys ending up with the car, and taking it to Camp Half-Blood," mused Leo, swirling the mug of coffee he'd ordered from room service.

"Yeah, but why was there a mix-up?" wondered Thalia.

They all sat there, thinking. Then Piper tripped over something that was sticking out from under the bed.

"You okay?" asked Leo, helping her up.

"Yeah, fine. I just tripped over this…" she trailed off, as she retrieved the object that she'd tripped over. It was a long blue silk scarf with a designer label. "Whose is this?" she asked, holding it out.

Clarisse looked at it and laughed. "I'll wear something like that on the day Zeus decides he's scared of heights."

Thalia scowled at the mention of heights. "That's not mine, either."

"Well, it's not mine," said Rachel.

Piper looked over at the guys. "Seriously? Do you think we're gay or something?" asked Nico.

"I used to," confessed Thalia. "What? You always wore eyeliner and tight jeans."

"So do the Jonas Brothers!" protested Nico. "Come on, people! I have a girlfriend!"

"Really?" asked Connor. "What's her name?"

"Focus, guys!" commanded Rachel. "It might be a clue! Does anyone know where a scarf like this might have come from?"

"It seems familiar," mused Piper. "But where…Oh, crap. I know who that belongs to."

"Who?" they all shrieked.

"Merriana Sennet."

"Like the supermodel?" asked Connor. His eyes lit up.

"Unfortunately," sighed Piper. "I knew her when we were kids. Her parents were famous, and my dad tried to get me to hang out with her. But he stopped when he realized she was a whiny, stuck-up, pathetic, girly, glittery little bitch.

"Anyway," she continued, "She was always so obsessed with fashion, and she started a trend with those scarves. That definitely belongs to her."

"How do you know?" asked Thalia. "That could be anyone's."

Piper picked up the scarf. "She always pinned a stupid little gold 'MS' charm at the end so she'd know it was hers. And that's right here." She held it out for everyone to see.

"Shiny," murmured Connor. He reached out to grab it, but Piper pulled it away.

"So we have to find her and give it back," guessed Rachel. "Where does she live?"

"San Francisco," said Piper.

"Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight," said Clarisse. "We're going to get on a plane and go all the way to San Francisco, just to find this girl you hate on the off chance she knows where Annabeth is?"

"Unless you have a better idea," said Thalia.

"We'll have to fly," Clarisse teased.

Thalia shuddered, and Rachel put an arm around her shoulders. "It's for Annabeth. Come on, you have to!"

"Fine. But you better give me the aisle seat."

"Okay, let's go!" said Piper.

"What should we do?" asked Leo.

"Stay here and look for Percy. If everything works out, we'll see you at the wedding. If not… well, we'll figure that out if it happens," assured Thalia. "Now, let's get going. The sooner the flight's over, the better."

The girls walked out of the room. The guys were left standing around awkwardly.

"Anyone have any ideas?" asked Nico.

"Nope. Who wants lunch?" replied Grover.

"You're thinking of lunch?" questioned Nico.

"If you have a better idea, please enlighten us, o wise one," Leo answered sarcastically.

"Fine, let's go," sighed Nico. They made their way down the elevator and out of the lobby. Suddenly, a police car squealed to a stop right in front of them, and five policemen jumped out.

"Is there a problem?" asked Leo, holding his hands in surrender mode.

The policeman in front nodded. "But not with you, kid. With him," he said, pointing at Connor.

"What did I do?" he asked, clearly confused as hell.

"Like you don't know! This guy is a wanted criminal, who's responsible for the robberies of twenty-nine jewelry stores!" barked the officer. The policemen grabbed Connor and handcuffed him.

"Why'd you do it, Connor?" cried Grover.

"I didn't! I swear on Styx!" protested the son of the god of thieves.

"Should we believe him?" asked Leo.

They all stood there as the police car drove away, with Connor inside.

"I don't know," stated Nico.

End of Chapter

Authors' Note I am so so so so so so so sorry I didn't update! I hope this chapter was good enough for you. Leave a review telling me whether you liked the chapter. Or you could just flame me for not updating.

~Cerulean


	6. Chapter 6

Authors' Note: Thanks for the reviews. I hope you like this chapter.

Chapter Six: Jailbreaks and Jewelry

"I hate flying. I hate flying. I hate flying," chanted Thalia to herself. She sat in the aisle seat, as far away from the window as possible.

"Relax, Thal. Nothing's going to happen," said Piper reassuringly.

"Unless there's a bomb planted somewhere on the plane," added Clarisse helpfully.

Thalia glared at her. "Thanks. I really needed to know that."

"You're welcome."

The pilot came over the speakers, announcing that they should be landing in ten minutes.

"Okay, guys. Once we get off the plane, we'll have to find this Marilyn or Merriana or whatever her name is. Piper, do you know where to find her?"

"I can't remember her exact address, but I know where to find her. Just go to the nearest mall and check the most expensive stores," explained Piper distastefully. "I hope we don't have to spend too long in there. I can't stand stupid girls who are obsessed with designer crap."

"Well, neither can we," Rachel replied.

"Hey," said Thalia a while later, "You think we'll run into any Roman campers? I need to find Jason, he owes me fifty bucks."

Piper suddenly looked awkward at the mention of her ex. "Oh, um… I don't know…"

"No, he and Hazel and Frank are probably in New York for the wedding," Rachel supplied. She wisely did not mention Reyna, since that would make things even more awkward.

Thalia seemed to realize her mistake. "Sorry," she mumbled. "Relationships aren't my thing."

There was an awkward pause. Clarisse broke the silence by saying, "So we track the bitch down, demand to know where Annabeth is, and if she doesn't we shove her down some stairs?"

"I like the shoving down stairs part," grumbled Piper.

"Come on, she can't be that bad," said Rachel.

Piper's face turned dark. "You only say that because you haven't met her yet."

..~0~..

For an all-knowing Oracle, Rachel could be horribly wrong sometimes. And this was one of those times. Merriana Sennet _was_ that bad.

"Finally, we're off the damn plane," sighed Thalia.

"Yeah, now we need to take a taxi to the Hyperion Square mall," said Piper. She loaded them all into the back of a taxi. Half an hour later, they were standing in front of the fanciest malls ever. It was built around a large courtyard with a gorgeous garden of orchids, hollyhock, and lilies. Massive oak trees and weeping willows shaded the storefronts, and fountains with statues of mythological characters spouted in the midst of this. The stores themselves all had polished marble floors and were in perfect order, with just the right color schemes and lighting.

No wonder Piper hated the place. It was so… girly, and fake. To her, it said, 'All I care about is what this looks like on the outside'. For all they knew, the place could have been built over a landfill.

"All right, where can we find this girl? Because I don't like this place," said Clarisse bluntly.

"Right there, unfortunately," replied Piper. She turned toward a girl walking out of a store. As if in slow-motion, her glossy, long, bleach-blond locks flowed gracefully behind her, as her sky-blue eyes gleamed with confidence and self-centeredness. They stood out in sharp contrast to her orange spray-tanned skin. Her pink lips were stained with gloss, and her nose turned up, like she thought she was better than everyone.

"Hi, Piper. Cute shoes. Oh wait, never mind," tittered the girl in an annoying high voice.

"Wow, I was wrong. She is that bad," whispered Rachel to Thalia, who nodded in agreement.

"Merriana, I haven't got much time for chatting. Listen, is this yours?" asked Piper, holding out the scarf.

"Omigod, yes! I mean, duh, of _cawrse_ it's mine. It has my pin, see? And like, you def needed to return it, after last night!"

"Yeah, what happened last night?" asked Clarisse.

Merriana jumped a little and stared at Clarisse like she was something that had gotten stuck to the bottom of her designer stiletto. "You don't remember?" she asked, turning angry.

"No, we don't," said Thalia.

"Well, I remember you! You told me that my boyfriend was useless, and that I was desperate loser who needed to stop wearing so much perfume because it reeked of wannabe!" wailed Merriana.

"Did I say that?" asked Thalia.

"And then your blond friend—" started Merriana.

"What about her?' demanded Piper. "Do you know where she is?"

"No… Don't you remember? We got in a fight because she said I was being shallow. Then… well, we must have been drinking a lot, because I thought I saw this icky thing with seven heads, and then… I think you guys were fighting with my friends over jewelry, and then the blond girl got dragged away by this other lady who said they were old enemies or whatevs. And that's all I remember," stated Merriana.

"Wait a minute," said Rachel. "You watched Annabeth get dragged away by a strange lady and didn't do anything?"

"Well, I asked where they were going and the lady said apple picking, so I figured it would be okay!" protested Merriana.

"You idiot! You believed her?" yelled Thalia.

"Yes!" insisted Merriana.

"Hey…' said Rachel slowly. "Old enemies? Apple picking? I think I have an idea."

..~0~..

"Hey, shouldn't we be getting a phone call by now?" asked Leo. Grover and Nico stared.

"Why would we be getting a phone call?" asked Grover.

"Oh, come on!" exclaimed Leo. "Haven't you ever seen cop shows? They always give the person who gets arrested one phone call to get someone to bail them out."

"I don't know if it works like that in real life," said Nico.

"Why? Have you ever been arrested?" asked Leo.

"Look, guys. We have to find Percy first," said Grover. "We can bail Connor out of jail later."

"Are you sure? Is it really a good idea to leave him in prison with all the hardcore criminals?" said Nico.

"He'll be fine," replied Leo. "In fact, he's probably stealing their stuff and playing pranks on them as we speak."

..~0~..

"So, what're you in for?" Connor asked the guy sitting next to him. The guy was covered in piercings, tattoos, and was extremely hairy and muscular. He looked a bit like a Laistrygonian giant, except he was only five feet two.

The guy gave him a death glare. "Putting a bomb in a school full of innocent children."

"Oh, um… Yeah, the quality of education is so bad that it's best just to blow up schools and let the kids go free," stuttered Connor, trying cover his tracks and avoid strangulation.

"The kids were all in the school," repeated the man.

Connor swallowed. "Right… I'm just going to go sit over there." He picked up his lunch tray and ran over to the corner table, where a woman with curly black hair and really pale skin sat. The woman looked at him and started laughing insanely.

"What's so funny?" asked Connor.

"You're scared of a guy who's like, a foot shorter than you!" she said cheerfully.

"No, I'm not," protested Connor.

"Yes, you are."

He tried to change the subject. "What are you in for?"

"My name's Bellatrix. I killed my fish."

"I didn't know you could get arrested for killing a fish. Was it an endangered species or something?"

"No. I wouldn't be here, but my stupid older sister told on me, and I had to kill her. That's why I'm in here."

"Ah. I was falsely accused of stealing from many jewelry stores."

"Fascinating. Do you have any clue who did it?"

"No."

At that point, a giant, buff, bald dude lumbered over to their table. "Hey, Bella," said the man.

"What's up, Bruce?" greeted Bellatrix. "You're back in here? I thought they let you out last week?"

"No, I got caught trying to rob a casino last night, thanks to some idiot dudes who were apparently celebrating a bachelor party. Who's the new guy?"

"I'm innocent!" interjected Connor. "I was falsely accused of robbing a chain of jewelry stores! And… since I have slight kleptomania, no one believed me!"

"You're a kleptomaniac?" asked Bellatrix. "No wonder they didn't believe you!"

"Hey, do I know you?" asked Bruce suspiciously, studying Connor intently.

Connor was immediately on guard. "No. Why, should I?"

"Yes," growled Bruce dangerously. "But you were pretty drunk last night… and so were your friends."

"Oh, you can't be sure that was me," said Connor, trying separately to think of a way out of this situation.

"I don't need to be sure. I _know_."

"Come on, you can't be serious."

"Really? Does this shit sound familiar? I was sneaking off to rob this fancy casino, just mindin' my own business, when five idiots come up to me, waving some weird kind of weapon and fighting with some other guys. I'm just trying to break a window when the kid with black hair and an orange shirt comes up and starts yelling, 'Not there! You'll never get out!' Then he calls his friends over to fucking tackle me, and then he started fighting with the other guys again. I didn't see him after that, but you and the rest of your buddies held me down till the police came. Does that jog your memory?"

Connor stared for a moment; sure this was some kind of trick. But Bruce seemed totally serious.

"Maybe it would help me remember if I knew what hotel it was?" he suggested weakly.

"How the fuck would I know? It was some place with a bunch of flowers and stuff. Looked real fancy."

"Nope, sorry, doesn't ring a bell," replied Connor.

"That's it. I've had enough of your smart mouth," grunted Bruce. He grabbed Connor's feet and held him upside down.

"Help! Help! Someone do something!" begged Connor. No one moved.

Suddenly, one of the guards walked in.

"Connor Stoll," he said. Bruce let go and Connor stood, wondering if he had landed himself in more trouble.

"Yes?" he questioned.

"You're free to go."

"Seriously?"

"You heard me. Someone paid your bail. Now, get your ass out. Unless you want to stay, of course," chuckled the guard. Connor was out of there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August.

"Does this mean I don't get to finish beating him?" complained Bruce.

..~0~..

Connor ran out of the building, relishing the freedom. Although he'd only been in jail for an hour at most, it felt like a week had gone by.

He ran into Grover, Nico, and Leo. "So did you really do it?" asked Leo.

"No, guys, I didn't. I'd tell you if I did. Besides, a guy from jail gave me some clues!"

"What?" they all asked at once.

"Apparently, we got into a fight outside some casino that had flowers on it. There was a guy trying to rob it, but Percy stopped him because if he robbed the casino, he'd apparently be trapped there. Then, we tackled the criminal and Percy ran off to fight with the other guys," said Connor in one breath.

Nico stood there and thought for a moment. Then, an unpleasant memory returned to him. "I think I know where he is."


	7. Chapter 7

Authors' Note: hey, guys! Look, I am really sorry about the lack of updating. Don't worry, though, I'll have the final chapter up by next Friday the latest. I realize that this chapter isn't as funny as the rest, and I'm sorry about that, but this sort of has to be serious because it's getting nearer to the end.

Chapter 7

"Why? What are you thinking?" asked Thalia suspiciously.

"Think about it, Thalia. Apple picking in San Francisco. A strange lady who is Annabeth's enemy. Does that mean anything to you?" asked Rachel. She looked around at everyone like she expected them to get it.

"Should it?" asked Clarisse finally.

"Yes!" Rachel practically shouted.

Piper tried to think of what to say. She didn't enjoy looking like an idiot, and was actually fairly smart, but she honestly had no idea what Rachel meant. Thalia, being the lieutenant of Artemis, knew quite a lot about myths and monsters, but she didn't have a clue, either. Clarisse, whose thoughts mostly involved beating someone up or fighting monsters, figured it out. "Hera's garden," she replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You know, with the golden apple tree, the one Hercules took the apples from. With the huge, dangerous dragon that clawed Luke's face open."

"Right. That one," said Thalia.

"Yeah, I knew that," lied Piper.

"Okay, whatever. Now we need to get to the garden of the Hesperides. And hurry up, it's nearly sunset. The wedding's tomorrow morning."

..~0~..

"A rental car? This is the best we could do?" asked Clarisse.

"Were you expecting a limo?" Thalia fired back.

"Quiet! I'm driving," said Piper.

"Um, no offense, but we need to hurry up. We can only enter the garden at sunset," explained Rachel.

"I'm trying! I can't make traffic speed up!" protested Piper. She pressed the accelerator and drove as quickly as she could without slamming into the car in front of her.

Finally, they approached the exit for Mount Tamalpais. The cheap rental car bounced violently up and down on the narrow dirt roads. At last, the car skidded to a halt at the end of the road. Mist swirled everywhere, and no one could tell if it was the regular kind or the magical kind.

"This is as far as it goes," said Thalia. She got out of the car and looked around. "We're here."

"So we just go through the fog?" asked Piper.

"Yes."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? What if there's a monster crawling around?"

"Well, there definitely is a dragon, but it stays near the tree," said Rachel. "Still… Keep your weapons out. The Hesperides aren't the friendliest nymphs."

Together, they all stepped into the mist. For a minute, it was cold and dark. Then the fog cleared, and the garden revealed itself. It was a strange place: beautiful, yes, but definitely eerie. There was singing in the background, but whoever was singing definitely wasn't human. The voices were unearthly and strange.

"Strange place," whispered Piper.

"I don't like it either," said Thalia. "I don't trust the Hesperides."

As if on cue, four girls emerged from behind the trees, wearing white dresses the stood out against their dark skin.

The tallest one stepped forward. "You," she said distastefully to Thalia. "You're the daughter of Zeus, yes? Artemis's lieutenant?"

"Yes. I'm guessing you were expecting us, weren't you?" asked Thalia coldly. The girl didn't respond. Instead, she turned to the rest of them.

"And the rest of you: Piper, daughter of Aphrodite; Clarisse, daughter of Ares; and Rachel, the Oracle. Here to rescue your friend?"

"Don't pretend. Let's cut to the chase," Clarisse cut in, boldly stepping forward. "Where is Annabeth?"

The nymphs exchanged glances. "Paying a debt to Hera. She'll be back. Calm down. Wait by the edge of the mountain."

"No, I don't want to wait. We did not come all the way across the country and endure Merriana Bitchface to go and wait by the edge of the damn mountain. Where is she?" barked Piper.

The nymphs just stood there, with faint half-smiles.

Meanwhile, Rachel had slipped away and was searching through the garden, looking for Annabeth. Something glinted in the corner of her vision, and she turned around to see the largest apple tree she'd ever seen, each branch drooping with golden apples: The apples of immortality, Zeus's wedding gift to Hera. A horrible, many-headed dragon was curled around the base of the tree. And one of its heads was staring at her.

Rachel stepped back and tripped over something. "Ow," she muttered. "What did I—"

"Rachel? How'd you get there?" whispered Annabeth, pulling her behind the bush.

"Well—Long story. What are you doing here? How'd you end up here?"

Annabeth sighed impatiently. "Look, the night before the wedding, the bride's supposed to make certain sacrifices to Hera, the goddess of marriage. But apparently, we decided to sacrifice a Hydra to annoy her—"

"Where'd we get a hydra?"

"You know how chain restaurants and hotels and stuff are sometimes linked to the life force of monsters? Apparently, the Plaza is part of a chain. And there are bound to be monsters crawling around. Anyway, Hera lost her temper and sent the hydra after us."

"Okay, but why'd she send you here? She definitely wants something."

"Actually," said Annabeth, "She told me—well, screamed, actually—that I have to prove I'm worthy of her forgiveness by stealing an apple from the tree."

"So you can shove it up her—"

"No, that'll only get us all stuck here for good. I can get the apple. I just need a distraction."

Rachel hesitated. She trusted Annabeth's strategies, but would it really work? But they had to try.

"Here's what we're going to do," Annabeth began.

..~0~..

"Is this the place?" Grover asked uneasily.

"Unfortunately," said Connor grimly. They stood in front of the largest casino in Atlantic City. Strangely, mortals just walked straight by it, as if they didn't notice it. Then again, it was probably protected by the Mist.

Nico swallowed. "Okay… what's the plan?"

"Plan?" they all asked.

"Yeah. What is it?"

"Do we really need one?" asked Connor.

"Yeah. We can't go in there without one, otherwise we'll get distracted by the games," said Nico impatiently.

"Maybe it won't affect us since we already know it's there?" suggested Grover.

"We can't take chances," replied Nico. "We don't have enough time to make up for mistakes."

"Isn't there some sort of antidote against it?" asked Leo. "I don't know, maybe something that makes you really focused?"

"What are you suggesting, Extreme Red Bull? There's nothing like that. At least, not that I know of," admitted Connor.

"There has to be a way around it," muttered Nico. "We just aren't thinking of it."

Suddenly, Leo had an idea. "If you can't get around something," he mused, thinking hard, "You could always destroy it."

"Destroy? How would we do that? You're not thinking of burning the place down, are you?" asked Grover suspiciously.

"No, why'd you think that? We'll use a wrecking ball," said Leo, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

"I don't think that will work on a magical building, will it?" asked Connor. "I mean, I've tried that before, and—"

"When?" demanded Nico.

"It was one time!"

"Well, let's just try," insisted Leo.

"Are you sure?" asked Grover. "What if some hardcore criminals are in there? That's what happened at Circe's island. Percy and Annabeth ended up unleashing Blackbeard. The gods might be using the place as a prison for monsters. "

All were silent, debating the cost. "Then we'll have to lure Percy out somehow," suggested Leo.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: _Sorry for the delay. This is the second to last chapter, and I really hope you like it. Thanks to all those who reviewed, favorited, or subscribed. Disclaimer: I do not own __Percy Jackson and the Olympians__._

Chapter 8

"Are you sure that's going to work?" asked Rachel after Annabeth had finished telling her the plan.

"It has to. What alternative can you think of?" replied Annabeth grimly, locking eyes with Rachel.

"We could just ditch you… I'm kidding, relax!" teased Rachel.

"Okay, when I give the signal, go." Rachel nodded and wandered back to the garden, where Piper, Clarisse, and Thalia were still bickering with the nymphs.

"Listen, I don't give a fuck if you don't want to tell us, I'll make you tell us. Now, where's Annabeth?" snarled Thalia, holding her spear to one nymph's throat.

"I can tell you," said Rachel quietly. She suddenly spoke in a raspy voice, similar to the one she used when the spirit of Delphi spoke through her.

_The place where the daughter of wisdom is_

_is the place where a magical elf lives_

_There, no birds fly in the sky_

_and weeping willows look as if they cry_

"What the hell?" muttered Thalia.

"I think she's faking it," whispered Piper.

The Hesperides stared at her.

"Is this supposed to be a distraction?" wondered Clarisse.

Meanwhile, Rachel kept making up some BS poem about a really depressing place, and the nymphs stared. Suddenly, they heard Annabeth's voice whispering in their ears.

"Guys, it's me, Annabeth. Rachel's just trying to distract them. Here's what we're going to do." And she quickly whispered the rest of the plan.

"Wait, is this really going to work—" started Piper, but before she could finish, one of the Hesperides spoke.

"You do realize that we aren't fooled, don't you?"

There was an awkward silence. Then Annabeth tore off her invisibility cap and yelled, "Now!"

After that, it was pure chaos. Each girl took out their weapons and charged the copper-colored, many-headed dragon. The Hesperides, being cowardly nymphs, shrieked and vanished.

Ladon the dragon snarled, its many heads hissing and looking entirely ready to breathe fire. There were so many heads that it was impossible to focus on just one. And they all had a set of razor-sharp, venom-coated fangs.

Obviously, none of them wanted to get near it. But they had to get the apple.

"Remember the plan!" called Annabeth. She ran at one of the heads, and held her knife in its face. Oddly, she didn't strike at the creature. She waved it about as if she just wanted to get its attention. The head lunged, and she dodged quickly.

Thalia pulled out her bow and fired several arrows into the eyes of the dragon, but it was like sticking a needle into someone's finger: it just made it angry. Four heads came at her at once, and she somehow managed to roll, sidestep, and jump over the necks. It was a bit like those Whack-A-Mole games, except the moles surrounded them completely and were highly poisonous. She was feeling pretty optimistic about the plan—something she rarely felt—until a fifth head lunged at her from behind and grabbed her by the ankle.

She crashed to the ground and felt the teeth sinking into her leg. Luckily, Clarisse moved it with her spear and the dragon let go quickly.

"Thanks," gasped Thalia. She sprinted away in the opposite direction, with a few heads still chasing her.

Piper, meanwhile, had done something that was either totally brave or a completely retarded idea: She had run up to the nearest head and jumped on it. She was already regretting her decision three seconds after she'd done it.

"OH MY GODS!" she screamed as she hung on for dear life. The head she was clinging to flailed around spastically, trying to get her off. Several other heads came to attack her, but they only ended up getting their necks tangled together.

"Good move, Piper! That's the idea: get the heads tangled!" called Annabeth from the ground as she dove to avoid two heads at once. Surely enough, the heads were tangled together.

This was no help to Piper, who felt like she was on an extremely deadly roller coaster without a seatbelt. She tried slashing at the dragon's neck, but its scales were impenetrable. Finally, the head she was clinging to slammed into the tree and Piper toppled out. Fortunately, she found something to break her fall. Unfortunately, that something was Rachel.

"Sorry! Are you okay?" apologized Piper. She quickly dodged another head.

"I'm fine! Watch my back while I climb up and get an apple!" called Rachel.

As she tried to avoid getting killed, Annabeth surveyed the scene. Her mind was racing, which was always a good sign. She noted that the dragon was slowing down and getting its heads tangled together, but it would take a lot more effort to keep it that way.

Rachel slowly began to climb the enormous tree, but that wasn't easy with a hundred-headed dragon snapping its jaws around her. She grabbed another branch and pulled herself up. Using a knot in the trunk for a foothold, she reached up and swung her leg around a tree limb. The apples, of course, were at the very end. Rachel slowly shimmied out onto the branch. The apples were closer… closer… only a few more feet… WHAM!

Several dragon heads slammed into the tree at once. The whole thing shook dangerously.

"You want some more of that, punk?" yelled Clarisse. "Die!"

Thalia raised her spear, and an arch of lighting flashed and took out several heads at once. "Nice one, Thal!" called Piper, her hair standing on end. But there were still many more.

Meanwhile, the tree branches were still shaking dangerously, and Rachel was still out on a limb. The apples were inches away from her outstretched hand… she reached out and found herself inches from a staring dragon.

Rachel looked at the dragon. The dragon looked at Rachel. Rachel wished she had a blue plastic hairbrush to throw at its eye. The dragon wished that it could bite Rachel's head off. After what seemed like an eternal staring contest, the dragon came to its sense and lunged. Rachel had the sense to lunge away and seize the apple. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, because she nearly fell off the branch.

"Rachel! You got the apple! Come on, let's get out of here!" exclaimed Annabeth, diving away from the dragon's jaws.

"I can't! In case you didn't notice, I'm still dangling from the branch!" screamed Rachel.

The dragon had gotten many of its heads tangled, struck by lighting, or slammed against a tree, but there were still enough to make the dragon a threat. A few of the heads snapped their jaws at Rachel, who was hanging by one hand and holding the apple, desperately trying not to die.

"Throw it to me!" yelled Piper. Rachel tossed her the apple, which Piper caught. All the heads turned to Piper. "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea," she mumbled. "Clarisse, catch!"

Clarisse caught it and tossed it to Thalia, who threw it to Annabeth, who screamed "I've got it! Now we should run!"

This had given Rachel enough time to get to the bottom of the tree again. Together, they sprinted out of the garden.

"Is it following us?" asked Piper, trying to look back and run away at the same time.

"I don't think so," said Annabeth, glancing over her shoulder.

They all paused for a moment and breathed a sigh of relief. "Now what?" asked Thalia.

"Now," said a voice from behind them, "You give that to me."

"Hera," said Annabeth. She scowled at the goddess, who was smiling radiantly. "Here's the damn apple. What did you want it for, anyway?"

Hera shrugged. "I was hoping you'd die in the attempt. I still don't like you. Besides, I wanted your last day of being unmarried to be memorable. It's a bit of a tradition: If you can face a hundred-headed dragon, marriage should be nothing."

"Wait, let me get this straight. You did all this just so we could have a traditional night?" demanded Thalia. "Thank Artemis I'm never getting married."

"Well, yes," replied the goddess. "And anyway, I hate you all. I'll see you at the wedding. I've arranged transportation for you." She vanished into thin air.

"But you aren't even invited!" yelled Annabeth. Suddenly, there was a loud snapping noise, and everything around them vanished. Before they could do anything, there was another snapping noise, and they were in the room they'd rented at the Plaza Hotel.

"We're back!" said Piper.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," replied Thalia. "The next time—Oh, shit!"

"What?" asked Annabeth.

"I just realized: the wedding's in two hours."

Annabeth jumped. "I need to get ready. I can't be late for my own wedding!"

..~0~..

"So how would we lure Percy out?" asked Connor.

"I don't know. I was hoping you would."

"Hmm. The last time we got trapped in a Lotus Casino, we didn't get out for five

"We could just blow it up," suggested Connor.

"Well, someone could get killed in the explosion, and we could easily unleash some kind of dangerous mythological thing," offered Nico.

"Always the optimist, aren't you?" asked Leo.

"I can't help it. It's hereditary."

"Well, we have to think of a way. We only have a little while before the wedding's supposed to start," said Connor.

Grover sighed. "There has to be a way… we just aren't thinking of it. If one of us was in there instead of Percy, he would have found a way."

"A stupid way," said Nico. Everyone looked at him. "I'm not saying he's an idiot!" protested Nico. "But let's face it: sometimes his plans don't go the way they're supposed to."

"True. But they always work, one way or another," realized Connor.

Leo smiled. "Hey, what do you think Percy would have done by now? Driven a car through the window?"

Grover laughed. "Probably flood the place," he joked.

"Or crawled in through the ventilation system. The magic that makes people want to stay probably isn't as strong in there," laughed Connor.

"Wait a minute. Crawl through the vents? That's actually a good idea," said Nico.

"But I'm claustrophobic!" protested Grover.

"It actually might work," said Leo.

"Wow, I'm smart,' said Connor.

..~0~..

A few minutes later, they had found the system and were crawling through.

"I've seen this on TV a lot, but I've actually never done it," whispered Nico.

"I have," whispered Leo. "I once snuck out of a foster home through the vents."

"So have I," muttered Connor. "Travis and I did it when—Oh, never mind, you don't want to know."

"Shouldn't we be seeing something by now?" asked Grover. "I don't like this."

"I think I see a light ahead," said Connor, who was in front. "Hey—look at this!"

He moved aside a little so that they could all see the gleaming marble floor, chandeliers, gilded walls, and all the shiny, awesome, high-tech arcade games that filled the room. The place looked awesome. There were people bungee-jumping from a balcony, watching the movie-theater sized plasma TVs, drinking those weird fruity cocktail drinks, swimming in an indoor pool, and gambling their wallets away. Anyone could see why they wanted to stay forever.

"Where's Percy?" asked Nico.

They looked around. "I think I see him," said Leo.

"Where?"

"There," replied Leo, pointing to the bungee jumpers. Percy was lounging on the balcony, sipping a blue cocktail drink and grinning like an idiot. As they watched, he set the drink down and hurled himself off the balcony. Just before he hit the ground, he was saved by the bungee cord.

"Looks like fun," remarked Connor. They waited for a few minutes. Finally, Percy seemed to get bored with the jumping and went to the ground level. As he passed the vent where his friends were hidden, Connor hissed, "Percy!"

Percy turned around, looking for the source of the noise. "Down here!" called Connor.

Percy looked at his feet and saw nothing. "Shut up, voices in my head!" he exclaimed.

"No, look over here! In the vent, moron!" called Nico. Percy looked.

"Hey, guys! I was wondering when you'd show up!" he said cheerfully. "Come on out!"

"No, come in here!" insisted Grover.

"Why? That doesn't look like fun," said Percy.

"It is! It's great!" lied Leo.

Percy frowned. "Okay… just for a minute." He opened the grate that led to the vent and crawled in. Immediately, he looked like he'd been doused in cold water. "Oh, gods," he whispered. "How long was I in there?"

"Don't worry, only a day," said Nico. "Come on, let's get out of here."

They all crawled back out of the vent.

"Does this mean I'm going to be late for my own wedding?" asked Percy.


	9. Chapter 9

Authors' Note: I'm definitely going to sound like a fangirl when I say this. I guess that I'll look back on this saying in shame later, but I just have to say it: OMG Percabeth wedding! I'm so so so so so so so EXCITED! WHOOO! FINALLY!

Ahem. Now that I have the fangirliness out of my system, I'd just like to thank all of the reviewers, and also anyone who favorited or subscribed to this story. Seeing all of your feedback really motivates me to keep writing. Oh, and please, please tell me if it's too fluffy and/or OOC. See, I've only been to a wedding once, literally ten years ago. And I behaved so badly that I haven't been to one since. Also, I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Also, I'd appreciate it if you looked at my sister's blog. It's

www (dot) calscommentary (dot) wordpress (dot) com

Chapter 9: A Wild Wedding

"Okay, I'll just get dressed and then we can leave for the wedding," said Annabeth, frantically unzipping her outfit from the plastic covering it arrived in. They were all standing in Annabeth's apartment, getting ready for the wedding.

"You're getting ready now?" shrieked a voice. Aphrodite had appeared out of nowhere.

"Mom!" said Piper. "What are you doing here?"

"I have to make sure Annabeth looks good for her wedding," said the goddess happily. "Did you know, my dear, that you and Percy are my favorite couple since Helen and Paris? I even did my best to make your story tragic. That's how much I love you two together."

"Umm… Ooo-kay," said Annabeth awkwardly.

"Great! I'll help you get ready!" Aphrodite bounced over and pulled out a tiny makeup case. As they watched, she pulled out foundation, blush, mascara, several eyeshadow compacts, eyeliner, several shades of lipstick, lip gloss, and lipstain, cheek stain, hairspray, an eyelash curler, eyebrow pencil, bobby pins, a curling iron, nail scissors, nail file, nail polish, and numerous hair clips.

Clarisse picked up the eyelash curler and examined it. "What's this, some kind of torture device?"

Thalia took a stick of black eyeliner and carefully reapplied it to her eyelids. "You look like a raccoon," Rachel informed her.

"Oh, shut up," muttered Thalia, who looked quite pleased with her reflection.

Meanwhile, Piper veered away from the beauty products like they were highly toxic and deadly chemicals.

"This is very generous of you," said Annabeth, trying to be polite, "But really, Lady Aphrodite, it's not necessary. It's not a formal wedding, and I don't really care much for makeup anyway."

"I know you don't. You didn't think I was going to use this stuff on you, did you? This is all for Piper. She really needs it."

"What?" shrieked Piper.

Aphrodite laughed. "Just kidding, dear. Now, Annabeth, just close your eyes."

Annabeth obeyed, and Aphrodite took out a handful of a silvery powder. She sprinkled it over Annabeth, who opened her eyes.

"See? You're gorgeous!" exclaimed the goddess proudly.

..~0~..

Meanwhile, the guys were having a slightly more difficult time getting ready.

"Drive faster!" called Connor.

"I'm trying! The car can't go over a hundred and thirty!" yelled Leo.

"Watch out for the fruit truck!" exclaimed Nico. Leo swerved the car to the left, causing everyone to fall over.

Percy was trying to shave, which was a bit difficult to do in a car. He accidentally dropped the can of shaving cream, and it started spraying itself all over the car.

"AAAHHH! SHAVING CREAM IN MY EYES!" yelled Leo. The car hit the guardrail, skidded over a few lanes, and launched into a spin. Everyone screamed like a little girl, which was quite funny, considering the fact that they were all grown men.

Finally, the car skidded to a halt outside of Percy's apartment building. "We're alive!" said Grover thankfully.

"Come on! We have to go get dressed and be ready for the wedding in an hour," urged Percy.

..~0~..

The wedding was on Half-Blood Hill. Since it was an outdoor wedding, it wouldn't be fancy, nor would it be obscenely elegant, which was perfectly fine for Percy and Annabeth. Besides, all their friends could be there.

Percy, Nico, Grover, Connor, and Leo showed up literally two seconds before the wedding was supposed to start.

Everyone was already seated and whispering about whatever it is people whisper about at weddings. Nearly everyone they knew was there: Percy's mom, Paul, and their daughter Mina; Annabeth's father, stepmother, and half-siblings; Travis, Katie, Miranda, Butch, Lou Ellen, Mitchell, Lacy, Nyssa, Will Solace, Clovis, Chris, and some more demigods, Chiron, Jason, Reyna, Hazel, Frank, and a few other Roman campers; and a few nymphs.

Even the gods were there. Aphrodite, because she loved weddings; Hera, because 1: she was the goddess of marriage and 2: she wanted to annoy Annabeth; Poseidon, because apparently, you're supposed to attend your son's wedding; Hermes because he felt like it; and Athena because 1: Her daughter was getting married and 2: There's a line in the ceremony that says, 'If there is anyone who objects to the union of these two souls, speak now or forever hold your peace'.

Percy ran to the top of the hill and took his place. Grover, who was best man, stood next to him.

"Nervous?" asked Grover.

Percy nodded, looking completely terrified.

"So am I," whispered Grover.

"What?" whispered Percy. "I'm the one getting married! Why would you be nervous? Anyway, isn't the best man supposed to say a few choice words that somehow make everything okay?"

"Sorry," Grover whispered back. "I mean, what if I randomly screw up the entire ceremony? What am I supposed to do if I sneeze during the ceremony and jinx the whole marriage? It's not like I know what I'm doing."

"We never know what we're doing. But we usually turn out okay in the end… right?" asked Percy.

Grover sighed. "Percy, I can read emotions, and if I'm sure of anything… it's that you and Annabeth are meant for each other. It's the actual _wedding _that you need to worry about. But we got over the hangover from the bachelor party, didn't we?"

Percy smiled. "We sure did, G-man," he said, punching Grover affectionately. Suddenly, they heard the screech of tires.

"Looks like Annabeth's here," called Nico.

..~0~..

Annabeth twisted her hands around her necklace nervously. "You okay?" asked Thalia.

"Yeah. Fine. Just a wedding. Nothing to worry about," said Annabeth, sounding plenty worried.

"Relax. I foresee a happy future for you and Percy," said Rachel in a very misty, mysterious voice.

"I know. I'm not worried, I'm not worried," chanted Annabeth.

"There's really nothing to be scared of," reasoned Piper. "It's nothing, compared to some of the things you've done."

"And hey, we survived the hangover from the bridal shower," Clarisse added. "The worst is over."

"I know," said Annabeth, who still looked nervous.

"We're all happy for you, Annabeth," said Thalia softly.

Annabeth nodded absently. "Yes, I know." She smiled suddenly. "He's the one. He must be."

The other girls exchanged slightly confused glances at this. Thalia shrugged and mouthed, '_Just play along_'.

..~0~..

The wedding march began. The flower girl, Annabeth's youngest half-sister, skipped down the aisle throwing flower petals around. Piper and Rachel, the bridesmaids, were next, and Thalia, the maid of honor, followed. They all wore silver dresses.

Annabeth, accompanied by her father, was next. She looked… there was no other word for it, stunningly pretty. She didn't appear to be wearing any makeup, but her skin was clear, her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes shimmered. Her hair was swept into a pile at the top of her head. Although the dress was a simple, fitted white sheath with a bit of lace at the neckline, it was gorgeous. It was so distracting that no one suspected that she was wearing sandals instead of heels.

Percy didn't look too bad himself in his black suit jacket and light blue shirt. He stood in front of the pine tree that used to be Thalia, with his eyes practically popping out of his head. Annabeth walked up the aisle, smiling. Her father went to take his seat between Athena and Annabeth's stepmother, and the ceremony began.

" _Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Perseus Jackson and Annabeth Chase in matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore – is not by any – to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly – but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this important estate these__two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace—"_

Athena and Poseidon jumped up, fully ready to object, until the officiant continued, "_Unless they are either the groom's __father or the bride's mother-"_

They both sat down, looking embarrassed.

The officiant went on and on about the importance of the promise they were going to make to each other, and they exchanged rings. Finally, they said the vows. Percy said, "I, Percy Jackson, do solemnly swear to take Annabeth Chase as my lawfully wedded wife, to love and cherish whether or not we are being attacked by dragon women, angry Titans, insane relatives, or locked in a suspicious casino with very little hope of getting out. Also, I promise to try not to be an idiot, admit it when you are right, and to stay by your side even if I have to go to hell and back. Again. I love you."

Annabeth then said her vows: "I, Annabeth Chase, do solemnly swear to take Percy Jackson as my lawfully wedded husband. I swear to always love and cherish you and not to rub it in your face when I'm right, and to stay with you under any circumstances, even if you blow up Mt. Saint Helens again, and even if I have to fight a hundred headed-dragon to see you. I love you."

"By the power vested in me by Mount Olympus, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride," said the officiant.

"Awwww," the crowd gushed as Percy and Annabeth kissed. And kissed. And kissed.

"Should we do something?" whispered Piper to Leo. "They won't stop making out!"

"Well, since they're not stopping, we might as well start," offered Leo suggestively.

"Your pick-up lines need work, Repair Boy," laughed Piper.

Finally, Percy and Annabeth broke apart. For a short moment, they gazed into each others' eyes. The congregation cheered, and Percy and Annabeth went back down the aisle.

..~0~..

The wedding party was fairly low-key, which was a relief after the night before. It was just a small party in the dining pavilion. Percy and Annabeth were obviously the center of attention, having to greet, dance with, and chat with nearly everyone. Percy was dragged off by Athena for a short time. He came back looking surprisingly calm, which just made everyone more concerned.

"What did she want with you?" whispered Annabeth, as she and Percy were slow dancing.

Percy shrugged. "She just told me that I'd better keep my vows unless I wanted to be pecked apart by angry owls. But she didn't actually sound too angry. Besides, I wouldn't have said them if I didn't mean them."

"Really?" asked Annabeth, looking surprised. "Hm. I guess everything worked out after all… didn't it? Maybe a little too well," she mused. After so many years of constant monster-fighting and worrying about the gods, she found it a little strange—and suspicious- that something could be so normal.

Percy looked alarmed. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, that's why it's so weird. Usually, when nothing's wrong, it's a sign that something really bad is about to happen," Annabeth pointed out.

"Yeah… but a lot happened yesterday and the night before, so—"

"Wait, what happened to you the night before?" asked Annabeth suspiciously.

"Oh, I… Well, I don't really know. A lot, I guess. But honestly, I can't remember one minute of that night," admitted Percy, expecting Annabeth to start yelling at him for being an idiot.

"Really? Neither can I!" exclaimed Annabeth. She said it a bit too loudly, and a few people stared.

"Maybe we should talk about this somewhere else," suggested Percy.

Suddenly, a package fell out of the sky and landed on Percy's head. "OW!" said Percy.

Annabeth picked the box up. "There's a note. 'Percy and Annabeth Jackson: As a wedding present, I have decided to send you a tape from the night before your wedding. It will only work once, but it will explain quite a lot. Sincerely, the Most Supreme and Mighty King of the Gods, God of Lightning, Zeus.'" She looked up. "So the gods were involved."

"Wait. So they did all that just for entertainment?" complained Percy. "What kind of sick, twisted people do that?" Thunder rumbled loudly. "Okay, okay. Relax. We'll watch it." The thunder subsided.

..~0~..

Ten minutes later, Percy, Annabeth, Leo, Thalia, Rachel, Connor, Nico, Clarisse, Grover, and Piper were in the Hephaestus cabin, ready to turn the video on.

"I can't wait to see what happened," said Connor excitedly.

"Do we really want to know, though?" asked Grover.

"Maybe not," agreed Thalia.

"But it's only going to work once. We'll just watch it and then get on with our lives," said Piper firmly.

"I think we should promise that whatever happens on this tape, we should never speak of again," said Annabeth.

"That's a good idea. I swear by the River Styx," vowed Nico. They all took turns making the vow.

"Okay, guys, let's turn it on and see what happened," said Leo solemnly. He pressed 'Play'.

_The tape started out dark, but then it cleared to reveal Annabeth, Thalia, Clarisse, Piper, and Rachel at an outdoor concert. They all had bottles of beer and were going crazy. Piper was drunkenly making out with some random guy. Clarisse had picked a fight with a bunch of people. Thalia and Annabeth were jumping on top of cars in the parking lot and Rachel was defacing public property with a bunch of spray paints. Annabeth picked up a can of purple paint and wrote 'I hate Hera' on a tree. After that, a hydra appeared and chased them away._

"So that's how I made her angry," Annabeth realized.

_The scene changed, and the boys were in a bar in a casino. They were all drunk. Connor kept picking random people's pockets. Percy, Leo, and Grover were doing karaoke, crooning, 'Someone Like You'. Nico was in the corner, flirting with Nancy. He ran over to his friends and yelled, "Come on! Let's go to the chapel so we can get married!"_

_They all wandered over to the chapel, where they bought a Friday the 13ththemed wedding for $19.99. Nancy and Nico signed the contract and went to get matching tattoos. _

"Wait. You got a tattoo?" asked Percy, putting the video on 'pause'. "I don't see one."

"It's not in a place I would normally display to the public," admitted Nico.

Clarisse burst out laughing. "So what, did you tattoo 'I heart Nancy Bobofit' on your ass or something?"

Nico looked embarrassed. "Possibly," he muttered.

_The scene changed again, and the boys were in the Spartan bar. Percy was sword fighting with a man they recognized as Ares. For some strange reason, a hippalektryon was tied in the back of the bar. Meanwhile, Leo hotwired the engine of Ares's car. Grover untied the hippalektryon, yelling, "Go free, noble creature!"_

_Ares was temporarily distracted by this, which gave Percy enough time to jump in the car. They ended up at Triple G ranch. The girls had already arrived there, and Thalia had convinced Eurytion to give her a tattoo. They decided to have a barbecue, but when Leo tried to create a bonfire, he accidentally set one of the barns on fire instead. The hippalektryons stampeded out, and Eurytion ran after them, cursing them out at the top of his lungs. _

_In the confusion that resulted, they all ran away and the girls somehow ended up in Ares's car. They drove back to camp Half-Blood, but Thalia, who was driving, was drunk and crashed into the canoe lake. They staggered out of the lake and hiked several miles until they were able to hail a taxi. The taxi took them to an airport. It was then that they realized that the Hydra still wasn't dead. So they got on the first plane they saw and ended up in San Francisco. _

"Well, that would explain how we got there," said Clarisse.

_Meanwhile, the boys decided to hide from Ares in a strange nightclub. They started acting like idiots: Connor started dancing on tables, Nico stole some girl's feather boa, Percy tried to avoid the half-naked girl who kept flirting with him, and Grover and Leo accidentally caused a fight in the bar. _

_The scene changed. It was a few hours later, and the girls were in San Francisco. Piper encountered Meriana Sennet and her friends. They got into a giant catfight, while a woman led Annabeth into a car. _

"That must be Hera," realized Piper.

_Meanwhile, they boys were leaving the club, when they encountered a horde of dracaenae. They attacked in front of a casino. _

"Isn't that the Lotus Casino?" asked Rachel.

"Yeah," said Nico.

"How—"

"I don't know. Apparently it's a chain," said Nico.

"Oh."

_Meanwhile, a criminal attempted to sneak into the casino. _

"Hey, that's Bruce!" exclaimed Connor.

_Percy stopped Bruce from sneaking in, and his friends held the criminal down until the police came. Percy finished off the dracaenae, but for some reason, he walked straight into the casino. _

_Nico, Grover, Leo, and Connor staggered through the streets until they reached the beach. There, they passed out. _

_The scene changed. Thalia, Clarisse, Piper, and Rachel ran through the lobby of the Plaza hotel. They knocked over vases and generally caused chaos. Finally, they broke through the door of an empty room and crawled in. _

The tape ended. Everyone sat there in silence.

"Good thing we're never going to mention this again," said Annabeth gratefully.

"Yeah, that turned out to be one hell of a hangover," agreed Percy.

The End

Authors' Note: Wow, I can't believe I'm finished. It's been really fun writing this, and I'd like to once again thank everyone who reviewed, subscribed, or favorited this story. You guys are the best. Thanks so much for reading.

~Cerulean


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